Harry Potter and the Truth
by hpcsilover
Summary: Post OOTP Harry has a few secrets in his life that are found out during the summer before his sixth year. contains slash HarryDraco, abuse graphic in the first chapters, rape, and self harm. If you self harm please be aware there might be triggers.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Return

Harry went back to his relatives house two weeks ago. He has been locked in his room ever since. His relatives did not take the warning to heart. He has spent the last two weeks lying on his bed, blaming himself for Sirius's death. Every three days he wrote his letter to the Order. Every time it was the same two words, 'I'm fine', even though he knew he wasn't.

Tomorrow was his 16th birthday. He wasn't expecting anything special to happen on his birthday, nothing ever did. When the clock struck midnight, he heard pecking on his window. Slowly he walked over and opened the window. Five owls flew in and landed on his bed, each carrying a letter and a package, his birthday presents. He untied all of the letters and packages and all of the owls except for two, Hedwig and Pig, left. He opened the first letter.

Dear Harry,

Happy 16th Birthday! I hope that your relatives are treating you ok. I hope that you aren't blaming yourself for what happened to Sirius, even though if I know you, I realize you are. IT WAS NOT YOUR FALUT! But I don't want to focus on that in this letter.

We are going to pick you up to go to the Burrow. We will be at your house at noon in two weeks from today, be ready to leave.

From,

Remus

Harry put the letter down and opened the package. He gasped in surprise when he realized that it was a mini Quidditch stadium. He placed it on his desk and went over to open the next letter.

Dear Harry,

Happy 16th Birthday! I hope that you are truly ok, and that you don't blame yourself for what happened. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I hope you believe me. Anyway I'll see you soon at my house.

From,

Ron

Harry put the letter aside and opened Ron's present. It was a photo book with pictures of the whole order, the trio, and the rest of the Weasley's. Harry's eyes started to tear up so he quickly blinked to clear his eyes. Carefully placing the book on top of the Mini Quidditch set, he opened the next letter.

Dear Harry,

Happy 16th Birthday! Please don't blame yourself for what happened. I hope you believe that it WASN'T YOUR FAULT! Anyway I am at the Burrow so I will see you tomorrow. I hope you enjoy your presents.

From,

Hermione

Harry opened Hermione's gift and saw that she gave him 3 books. He read the covers and thought that they would be useful; _Animagus for beginners by James Potter and Sirius Black, 101 Advanced Tips for Defending Yourself by Lily Potter, and Occluding Your Mind for Beginners by Albus Dumbledore. _ Harry gasped in surprise when he read the authors of the books. He never knew that his parents, Sirius, and Dumbledore wrote books. He placed the books on top of his other gifts and opened the next letter.

Dear Harry Potter,

I know that I am probably the last person you would expect to write to you, but I need to tell you something. I know that you might not believe me but it's worth a chance. My parents have disowned me because I refuse to take the Dark Mark. I am against everything that the dark lord is for. If you believe me, all I need from you is somewhere where I would be safe from my dad and the Dark Lord. Right now I am on the run, somewhere near Muggle London. I don't know what else to do. If you have an idea and want to help, open the package that came with this letter. It is a special parchment that all you have to do is write where you think it is safe for me to go, and send the parchment back to me. If you feel more comfortable you can share this with whomever you so desire, but please hurry, I am starting to fear for my life. I don't know why I wrote this to you, but please help.

Yours truly,

Draco Malfoy

Harry was shocked that Malfoy wrote to him. He thought about what Malfoy wrote and decided to ask someone for help when they picked him up. Avoiding the package for now, he picked up the last letter.

Dear Mr. Harry James Potter,

I am pleased to inform you of your O.W.L results. You got the highest Defense Against the Dark Arts marks since the age of the Founders. You also ranked third in your grade overall. Good Job!

Defense Against The Dark Arts:

Written O+

Practical O+

Overall O+

Potions:

Written O

Practical O

Overall O

Transfiguration

Written E

Practical E

Overall E

Astronomy

Written A

Practical A (test score based on what was completed due to the distraction during the test)

Overall A

History of Magic

Written P

Overall P

Divination

Written P

Practical P

Overall P

Harry was surprised that he received such high marks. He passed every class he needed to in order to become an auror. He placed the letters on his desk and got changed to go to bed.

----Dream----

Harry is in the Ministry of Magic fighting the Death Eaters. He hears a scream and turns around. He sees Sirius falling through the veil, screaming, "Its all your fault Harry, how could you let this happen!" over and over again until he disappeared behind the veil. Harry tried to tell Sirius that he didn't mean for him to die, but it was too late, Sirius was already gone.

----End of Dream----

Harry woke up with a start and started to cry. He couldn't believe how stupid he was, he believed a stupid dream and lead his godfather to his death. _It's all my fault. _Harry didn't want to go back to bed, so he opened his trunk to find a piece of glass. He found one and tested it against his finger. He was fascinated by how the blood trickled down his finger, and the numbness that he felt. It was wonderful not having all of the thoughts plague his mind for once. He carefully took the piece of glass out of his finger and held it in his hands. It was his savior, his way of coping. He placed the end of the glass at his wrist and dragged it against his skin, leaving a trail of precious red blood to trickle down his wrist. After he made 4 slashes, one for every one he knew who died, he placed his piece of glass on the desk and sat back waiting for the blood to dry. After 20 minutes of losing blood, he started to feel dizzy and light headed from blood loss. He quickly took an old shirt and wrapped it tightly around his wrist to help stop the blood. Finally the blood stopped and he unwrapped his wrist. _No one can find out about this, it is my little secret. They wouldn't understand that I deserve this anyway. Everything bad that happens is my fault. _

Several days later Harry started packing his trunk so he would be ready to leave. He carefully tried to avoid jarring his injuries, injuries he got thanks to his uncle. You see, his relatives punished him every day since he got home because they know that everything is his fault. His uncle didn't like that the freaks warned him and didn't take the warning to heart. Harry got punished as soon as he walked in the door. It wasn't like this was the first time he got pushed around at home, only this time he felt like he deserved it. He just hoped that the others didn't notice the marks. Every night since that night two weeks ago, he used the piece of glass to cut his writs over and over again. Now he had at least a dozen little cuts and two very deep cuts, from when he wanted to die but didn't succeed. After he finished packing he heard footsteps outside his door. They were his uncles. His door opened and his uncle came in.

"Ready for your morning punishment? Dudley told me that your screaming kept him up last night. You are an ungrateful piece of shit. Freaks like you don't deserve to live, they only make trouble, leading innocent people to their deaths. You should wish for death. Today I am going to do something new something I should have done a long time ago. Take off your pants or else." Taunted his uncle.

Harry nervously took off his pants and let his uncle rape him. It lasted for what seemed like forever but was only a half an hour at most. Then his uncle took a stick and told Harry to lie down on his stomach Harry did as his uncle told him to, and he felt a stabbing pain in his ass as his uncle shoved the stick up it. Once his uncle was done, Harry pulled his pants back up. His uncle grabbed him around the neck and pushed him down the stairs. Harry moaned in pain and slowly stood up but groaned when he put weight on his left leg. Slowly he made his way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Once he was done with breakfast he told his uncle that he was being picked up today at noon. His uncle was not pleased.

"I AM NOT HAVING FREAKS IN MY HOUSE! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LEAVE? NO ONE! You know what happens to people who disobey me right! Go up to your room, I will be in there shortly."

Harry slowly walked up to his room and sat on the bed. He waited for his uncle to come in. On cue his uncle slammed the door open and stormed in. He picked Harry up and threw him against the wall. He started to beat Harry punching and kicking him wherever he could.

"Please stop, I will be good. Just please stop." Pleaded Harry.

"Beggars don't get what they want. Just shut up and it will end sooner." Vernon stated, spitting on Harry at the end. "If you tell anyone about this summer, I will find you, and I will kill you, mark my words."

The beating lasted for another ten minutes until the doorbell rang. Vernon stopped and went downstairs to open the door. Harry slowly sat up and glanced at the clock, it was noon. He tried to stand up, but his leg gave out and he screamed in pain. He heard footsteps rushing up stairs and his door open. He heard someone gasp and run towards him. He curled up in a ball and covered his head with his arms pleading with the unknown person.

"Please, please don't hurt me. I wont do it again. I'm sorry. Just please don't hurt me." Harry sobbed rocking back and forth.

"Oh Harry, its ok, I wont hurt you. It's me Mr. Weasley. Remus is with me also. I need you to let me see how injured you are. I promise, I wont hurt you." Quietly stated Mr. Weasley.

Harry slowly started to relax and straighten out. "Sorry." He muttered.

"Its ok. I promise you are safe now. You will never have to come back here."

Harry smiled and passed out from the pain. A few hours later he woke up and groaned in pain. He looked around and noticed that he was in the living room of the Burrow. Ron was sitting next to him with Hermione in his arms. They were both deathly white and crying. Ron glanced at Harry and noticed that he was awake.

"Hey Harry. Glad to see that you are up." Greeted Ron.

"Hi Ron. Hi Hermione" Replied Harry.

"Oh Harry, I'm so glad you are ok." Stated Hermione.

Harry groaned in pain again and clutched his leg trying to relieve it of some of the pain. Hermione noticed that he was in pain and ran to get someone. A few minutes later she returned with Mrs. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley headed towards Harry and Harry flinched away in fright.

"Oh Harry, its ok, your safe. No one can hurt you here." Mrs. Weasley informed. "No where does it hurt dear? Tell me so I can be able to heal it better. Though magic doesn't heal muggle inflicted injuries over night, it does help."

"Left leg hurts a lot…that's the worst…aches everywhere though." Informed Harry gasping in pain again. He hoped that they didn't notice the marks on his wrists.

"Ok thanks for letting me know. This may hurt because I have to touch it to see how injured it is. If it isn't that injured I can heal it, if not I am afraid I will have to call Madame Pomphrey." Informed Mrs. Weasley.

She lightly touched his leg and he screamed out in pain. Sighing she told Ron to fire-call Pomphrey and tell her that it is urgent. A few seconds later Pomphrey came running into the living room and over to Harry and sighed when she noticed that he had passed out again. She quickly examined his leg and took an x-ray of it. She sighed when she noticed how injured it was and carefully put it in a brace so he couldn't move it and further injure it. She healed the rest of his body sighing when she noticed the marks on his wrist and the injuries to his anus and penis. She realized that Harry was not only physically abused but sexually too and most likely verbally also so she wasn't all that surprised when she found the self inflicted marks on his wrist, but knew she had to report them to his guardian, Remus. Finally she bandaged his wrists, even magic couldn't heal self-inflicted wounds, and woke him up.

"Harry I healed you has much as I could, but your leg was far too injured for me to heal. I put it in a brace until it heals enough for me to heal it with magic. I don't want you to put any weight on it unless it is necessary. It is a walking cast, so you can play quidditch, but not for another week at least. Unless you are playing quidditch, you have to use crutches to get around. The only other thing I couldn't heal was your wrist that will have to heal on its own. Other than that, you will feel sore for a day or two but everything else was healed." Informed Madame Pomphrey. "Your crutches are over by Ron, but I don't want you using them for a day or so, you need to rest. He also has your painkillers, one per day, they are very strong if you still feel pain after 30 minutes please tell me and I will give you a higher dosage. If you ever want to talk, just know that I am here. Call me if you need anything, day or night," With that she left the room and went to find Remus.

"How long have I been out?" Asked Harry.

"Only a few hours. Remus and my dad picked you up 3 hours ago you've been out of it most of the time. They had to be restrained from going back to your relative's house to attack them. I wish they did go back though." Informed Ron.

Harry nodded and looked at his leg. He noticed that it was on top of a pillow and that the brace went all the way from his lower thigh to around his foot so he couldn't bend his leg or move his foot. He sighed and leaned back, wondering where his piece of glass was. Once he was alone, he was going to look for it and use it. He looked back at Ron and Hermione and sighed. Gasping he sat up and remembered about the letter that Draco Malfoy sent him.

"Ron is Dumbledore here? I need to talk to him about a letter that was sent to me."

"Yeah hold on a second."

Ron hurried off to get Dumbledore and returned moments later with him.

"Ron told me you wanted to talk to me. What is it?"

Harry described the letter that Malfoy sent him and showed the letter to Dumbledore. Dumbledore read it and nodded.

"Its true. He sent me a letter just like it. Now where is the package that he mentioned?"

"In the book that you wrote in my trunk."

Dumbledore found the book and opened it, finding the letter. He took the letter and grabbed a quill and wrote down a location. "Harry mind if I send this off?"

"No go ahead sir, but mind if I ask where you are letting him stay."

"Not at all, at Hogwarts in a secret chamber that is only used for occasions like these. Well if that's all I am going to clean that room for him, but I will be back tomorrow."

After Dumbledore left, Remus came in. He told Ron and Hermione that he wanted to talk to Harry in private. Once they left, he put a silencing charm and locking charm on the door so that the conversation was private and could not be interrupted.

"Harry, Madame Pomphrey just informed me about some of her more disturbing findings. You know you can come and talk to me about anything right? Well she told me what your uncle did to you this summer, and what you did to yourself." Informed Remus.

"Why does it matter? I deserved it all, after what I did to Sirius. Its my fault that he is dead I had to be punished for what I did."

"Harry it wasn't your fault I hope you realize that. Now can I see your wrists?"

Harry hesitated but slowly reached his arms out so that Remus could undo the bandages. Once the bandages were gone, Remus gasped in surprise, he didn't think it would be that bad. He recognized the attempted suicide marks because he had also once attempted it. He sighed and looked back at Harry. He noticed that Harry was staring intently at his wrists as if he wanted something sharp, as if he wanted to feel pain. Remus gently reached over to Harry, and forced him to look up.

"Harry I'm not going to preach you on why you shouldn't do this, because I understand why you are, because I also used to do it. I just hope you will come to me whenever you feel the need to do it again, day or night, I don't care its going to be hard in the beginning, but at least try to ok. That's all I ask. My advice to you is to talk, open up tell someone what is bothering you, because opening up helps. I promise it does."

"Ok I'll try to. Can't make any promises though."

"That's alright. Look all you have to do to get in touch with me is write in this journal, I have the other one, and I always have it with me. Just write what ever you want and I will respond. If I feel it's urgent, I will come straight here, if not I will try to help you through the journal. Ok? There is more I want to talk about, but I will let you talk when you feel you are ready to, I'm not going to rush you." Remus informed. He handed Harry the Journal and Harry placed it on the nightstand. Harry nodded and Remus lifted the charms and opened the door.

Later that night Harry fell asleep and had the worst nightmare he ever had.

----Dream----

It started out as normal with Sirius, Cedric, and his parents all blaming him for their deaths. Then the dream changed and he was inside Voldemort's mind. He was looking up at Hagrid and uttered the death curse. He looked at the wall and noticed writing in blood. It said: _Harry Potter this is all your fault. Everyone close to you is going to die until you are dead. That's number 5 so who is next?_ He screamed and woke up.

----End of dream----

Harry gasped and sat up. He needed the piece of glass. He wanted to die. He found a knife that was left on the table and placed it against his wrist, fully intending to attempt suicide again but hesitated for a second. He grabbed the journal that Remus gave him and wrote his first entry.

Dear Remus,

I know that you told me to come to you when I felt like doing it again. Well I do right now. I just witnessed Hagrid's death and I don't deserve to live anymore. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've made. Everyone will be better off with out me. Tell everyone that I am sorry. Goodbye Remus.

With love,

Harry James Potter

With that written, Harry placed the knife on his wrist and pushed down as hard as he could, repeating the action to his other wrist. The last thing he heard was someone screaming and rushing towards him until he knew no more.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Several hours later, Harry groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He was surprised that he was still alive and looked around. He saw Remus sitting by his bed holding the journal in his hand. Harry looked down at his wrists and noticed that they were bandaged up again. Remus looked at Harry and sighed.

"Harry, I'm happy that you're awake. I came as soon as I got your message, but by the time I was there, you were already slicing your wrists open. I healed them as well as I could, and kept everyone else away. I am glad that you hesitated long enough to write the letter otherwise you wouldn't be alive right now. I want you to describe the dream you had last night for me."

Harry nodded and retold the dream not forgetting any details. Remus gasped when he heard what was written on the wall. By the end of the description, Harry was quietly crying and rubbing his arms.

"Remus…please help me…I can't help thinking about doing it again…just please help me." Harry pleaded in between sobs.

"Shh…its ok Harry. I will help you. You will get better. You just have to trust me ok. Now I'm going to have to take the knife away, you understand why right."

"Yeah…in my trunk there are broken pieces of glass that I use also, take those too."

Remus took the knife and looked through Harry's trunk and found all the pieces of the mirror. He repaired the mirror and placed it and the knife in his pocket. He sighed and looked at Harry again.

"Harry I am going to give you a couple of options. As your guardian I am responsible for your safety whether it be from others or from yourself. So here are your choices; either you can talk to me about what is bothering you because I am a trained therapist, or you can see a professional whom you don't know. Its up to you."

"I guess I will talk to you if I have to. I don't trust strangers even if they are supposedly on our side."

Remus nodded and replied a few moments later. "Ok that sounds fair enough. Lets start out meeting every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. You can either tell your friends the truth about why we are meeting so often, or you can make something up, its up to you but they will find out eventually, just keep that in mind." With that said, Remus left and headed into the kitchen.

A few days later Harry was finally allowed to get up and move around. He carefully reached for his crutches and hobbled into the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley spotted him and quickly helped him to the table. Once he was seated, she made him some breakfast. Harry eagerly ate the food. He thanked Mrs. Weasley for the food and noticed that today was Tuesday and his first session with Remus was today. He realized that he still had to tell Ron and Hermione about it. He figured he would tell then the truth because they would find out eventually and he figured it would be better if they found out from him instead of someone else. He found Ron and Hermione and told them that he wanted to talk to them in private later.

An hour later, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in the living room. Harry was lying down on the couch while Ron and Hermione were in armchairs next to him. He nervously looked at them and sighed. Figuring that now was as good as ever to tell them, he started from the beginning. Once he was through explaining what happened this summer, including the many rapes he suffered from his uncle, he looked down afraid that they were disgusted with him.

"Oh my god Harry…I don't know what to say. Well actually I do. NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS. Please believe me. What ever your uncle said isn't true. He was lying." Cried Hermione. Ron nodded in agreement. "I…we just want to help, please let us."

"I'll try to. I am going to talk to Remus about this every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. He should be here in a few moments." Informed Harry

As if on cue, Remus arrived in the room by floo. Ron and Hermione quietly left them alone and Remus sat in the chair Ron previously occupied. He put a locking and silencing charm on the door again.

"Ok Harry all I want you to do is talk about what ever is on your mind. This time is for you to talk, at the end of the time, I am going to give you a few suggestions of different ways to cope that aren't harmful. Ok."

Harry nodded and slowly started to talk. "I don't know where to start. I guess I will start from the beginning. The first memory I have is my third birthday and my uncle's present to me…He decided I was old enough to be…old enough to be touched. I thought it was normal, like every uncle did that to kids. Sometimes I still think that, but now I realize its not normal. This was the first summer he full out raped me though. Up until now it was just touching and making me do stuff to him. If I didn't do something right, something the way he liked it he would beat me. Even if I breathed wrong or I blinked at the wrong time, I would be punished. My room until the summer after my first year was the closet under the stairs. I thought that it was normal to live in a closet under the stairs. I thought you guys knew, because my first Hogwarts letter was addressed to the closet under the stairs…this was the worst summer since I started Hogwarts though. He was mad that you guys warned and threatened him, he thought I made you guys do it…that I told you about my past. The first thing he did once we got back from kings cross was make me lie on the driveway with my left leg out… he got back in the car and….and drove the car on top of my leg…he left me there under the car while they had dinner. He had found my invisibility cloak and draped it over me so no one would notice. He left me out there until he left for work the next morning. I was under the car that whole time. After he finally drove the car off my leg, Aunt Petunia made me get up and do a list of chores that had to be done before he came back or I would be punished. I couldn't stand, so I had to drag myself around the house doing everything she told me to do. At night I would drag myself up the stairs as carefully as I could and lie on my bed. I would take my knife and cut my wrists until I could no longer feel. It was something I started to do back when I was 9 or 10 and I haven't been able to stop yet. That night was when I first attempted suicide I just couldn't take the pain anymore. My Uncle found me, took the knife and laughed. He knew I lost a lot of blood but he didn't care, he beat me for surviving and made me do extra chores, forbidding me to eat until all the chores were done. That took me two days. Boy he was mad about that. That night he raped me for the first time. It lasted two hours, before he made me do it to him…I'm sorry…" Harry informed. He started to sob and looked away from Remus.

"Oh Harry…I'm so sorry you had to live through that. No one deserves that. I think that's enough talking for today, you can continue next time ok. Now do you mind if I inform Pomphrey and Dumbledore about this? Its ok if you don't want me to but I think that they should know about it. So what do you say?"

"Ok you can tell them if you think it will help. I don't want their pity though. I only got what I deserve."

"So I'm going to tell them about what you told me. I have it all right on this pad, I used a dictating quill, it's all confidential until you give me the ok to share it. So next time you feel like doing it, I want you to try this. Try to focus your energy on something else, write poetry, listen to music, read a book, draw, clean…do anything that isn't harmful, and write in that journal I gave you. I will respond and help you through the urges, ok. I think it will help to tell your friends about what you just told me, so they can help you also, but that's up to you. So think about it ok. I'm going to go tell Pomphrey and Dumbledore now, want me to get your friends?" Informed Remus. He saw Harry nod, and headed to get Ron and Hermione before finding Pomphrey and Dumbledore.

Harry told Ron and Hermione what he told Remus and looked away. He winced in pain and closed his eyes. He heard someone get up and hand him something, his painkillers. He opened his eyes and saw Ron kneeling next to him he nodded in thanks and took the painkillers. He started to rub at his arms and felt someone gently grasp on to his wrists to stop him. He looked up at the person grasping his wrists and noticed that it was Hermione. He relaxed and she let go. He reached for his journal and started to write in it, telling Remus that he wanted to do it again. Remus told him to try to distract his thoughts and if he couldn't do that to write back. Harry put the journal down and looked at Ron and Hermione.

"Hey so what do you guys what to do?" Harry asked.

"Want to fiddle around with the mini Quidditch stadium that Remus got you?" Asked Ron realizing that Harry was trying to distract himself.

Harry nodded and Ron went to retrieve the set. Ron came back and they spent the next few hours figuring out how it works. By the time they finally figured it out, Harry didn't feel like doing it anymore. He smiled and slowly got up. It was dinnertime, so he headed towards the kitchen.

On Thursday Harry went back into the living room and sat on the couch waiting for Remus to come. A moment later, Remus came through the floo.

"Good Afternoon Harry, How are you today?"

"I'm ok. The tips you gave me are working I haven't done it since my latest suicide attempt."

"That's good. So when ever you are ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

"Ok um…the next day, I had to do more chores, and still wasn't allowed to eat. It was my third straight day with no food or drink. He came into my room that morning and woke me up by throwing me against the wall. He then beat me for groaning when I got up. He claimed that I made him rape me, and that everything that he does is my fault, that I'm better off dead. Everyday that summer from then on was the same. I did my chores, got beaten, got raped, was forced to do stuff to him, and cut my wrists. It turned into a ritual, everything happening at the same time everyday. At least until you came, he had just finished raping me and started to beat me when you rang the door bell…He told me if I told anyone that he would find me and kill me…please don't let that happen…well right before you came, he through me down the stairs and made me walk…actually walk on my leg…he punched me and kicked me every time I stumbled or winced. So I spent the morning standing, until he told me to pull down my pants and pushed me down onto the ground. After he raped me he stuck a stick up my ass and then the last thing I remember is Mr. Weasley telling me that I'm safe. Then you know what happened. So that's what my summer was like, at least how I was treated. That's why my leg is so injured you can tell Madame Pomphrey if you need to. I just want to die…so I wont be in pain anymore."

"Ok Harry, I'm going to tell Madame Pomphrey about your leg. Its ok, he can't find you here, you're safe. I'll be right back."

Remus left and came back a few minutes later with Madame Pomphrey. She headed over to Harry and looked at him.

"Harry, Remus just told me what happened to your leg this summer. To be honest with you, I am amazed that it isn't paralyzed because it's so injured. I am going to have to perform surgery to try and mend it as best as I can. It will have to take place today. I am afraid to transport you to the hospital wing, so I will do it here. Just let me get some supplies that I need and I will be right back." Informed Madame Pomphrey. She left but returned a few minutes later with a bag filled with everything she needed. "Ok, I'm going to do it now, just take this and when you wake up it will all be over." She handed him a potion and he took it. Once he was asleep she started his surgery.

She looked at his leg and slowly took it out of the brace. Once it was out of the brace, she cut his pant leg off and cleaned his leg. She examined it to see what needed to be done, and cut his leg open. After hours of hard and tiring work, she was finished. She mended his leg as well as she could, but it was still extremely injured, and most likely would never fully heal. She put his leg into the strongest brace that she had. It almost looked like a muggle cast, but was slightly thinner than that, and had straps fastening it on. She sighed and cleaned up. Once she was done, she let him sleep until he woke up by himself, and went to inform everyone else about how he was.

A few days later Harry finally woke up. He cried out in pain. He heard footsteps coming his way and started muttering 'no please don't hurt me' over and over again. He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he flinched away expecting a blow to follow. When one never came, he slowly opened one eye and realized that he was in the Burrow. He opened the other eye and looked around. Ron and Hermione were next to him and Remus had his hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry…How long have I been out? What happened?"

"Harry you had surgery on your leg three days ago, you've been out ever since." Informed Remus.

"Oh that would explain the pain then. So how did it go?"

"Well she fixed your leg as well as she could, but it's still very injured. She put it in very strong brace. You can't put any weight on it until she comes back and tells you that you can. She said that it might never fully heal." Informed Hermione.

Harry spent the next few weeks on the couch. He still had his talks with Remus. He finally told Remus about the prophecy and visions that he had. Remus continued to tell him that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't deserve it. It was August 31st and Madame Pomphrey was going to come to check how his leg was doing today. She arrived and examined his leg. She took off his brace and asked him to move his leg as much as he could with out it hurting. Once he did that she told him that she was going to touch is leg and that he should tell her when it hurts. After she was finished she carefully put his leg on top of a pillow and told him not to move. She placed a cooling charm on his leg and left to find a brace for him. A few minutes later she came back with a brace. She carefully put his leg into the brace and secured it on.

"Harry I want you to always keep the brace on. You can step on your leg only when absolutely necessary. Keep using the crutches until I say that you don't need them anymore. I want you to come to see me every two weeks for a check up. If it starts to feel worse come straight to me, understand." Ordered Madame Pomphrey.

Harry nodded and watched her leave. Once she was gone he slowly got up, grabbed his crutches and went into the kitchen for lunch. He spent the rest of the day talking to Ron and Hermione. Later that night after he made sure everything was packed, he went to sleep and had a dream.

----Dream-----

Harry was in a dungeon. It was cold and damp. He coughed and felt a sharp pain in his chest. He shivered. He looked around but didn't recognize where he was. Looking down he realized he was wearing Slytherin robes. Blonde hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it away. He realized he had to escape in order to survive. He could only think of one person to ask for help, Harry Potter.

-----End of Dream-----

Harry woke with a start and realized that he was dreaming about Malfoy. Malfoy was injured and locked in the dungeon. Harry felt sick and slowly made his way to the bathroom where he emptied his stomach. He started to shake and rocked back and forth. He found a razor on the sink and grabbed it. He couldn't take the pressure and visions anymore. Carefully he took the razor and placed it against his wrist and dragged it to his elbow. Crying he watched as the blood dripped down his wrist. He heard someone knock on the door and ignored it, hoping that the would leave him alone. No such luck though.

"Harry I know you're in there. Please open the door or I am going to have to barge in." Pleaded Ron.

"…" Harry didn't answer hoping that Ron would go away.

"I'll give you one last chance before I come in. Please open the door."

"Hold on a second, I'll be right out." Harry replied. He quickly cleaned all of the blood up and flushed the toilet. Then he washed his hands and pulled his sleeves down. He pocketed the razor and opened the door.

Ron looked at Harry and noticed his tear stained and puffy cheeks, and blood shot eyes. He recognized the signs of someone who had just thrown up, and looked sadly at Harry.

"Harry are you ok?"

Harry nodded and headed back to the couch. He lied down and reached for the journal after he wrote Remus about what he just did and about the dream he had, he got ready to catch the train in the morning. A few minutes later Remus came into the living room and sat next to Harry motioning for Ron to leave. After Ron left, Remus looked at Harry.

"Remus is Draco ok? Is he safe? I thought he was at Hogwarts, what happened?"

"Calm down, Mr. Malfoy is fine. The vision you had was in the past, it already happened earlier this summer." Responded Dumbledore. Harry was startled because he didn't hear Dumbledore come in. "You will see for yourself tonight at the feast, he will not be on the train because that would be pointless since he is already at Hogwarts."

"Ok thank you professor."

Dumbledore nodded and left leaving Remus alone with Harry.

"Harry can I see you wrist? I read what you wrote to me in the journal, so I know what you did. I'm not angry at you I just want to make sure it's not serious."

Harry nodded and pulled his sleeve up. He looked down and apologized for doing it.

"I'm sorry Remus."

Remus took Harry's wrist and looked at the cut. It wasn't too deep and had already stopped bleeding. He cleaned it and pulled the sleeve back down and let go of Harry's wrist.

"It's ok. Just try to distract yourself next time. Do you know why you did it again?"

"Yeah…after I had that dream about Draco, I felt really worried for him. He was in trouble and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't want to see him injured like that, he doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"Ok Harry don't worry about him, he's fine. You will see him tonight. Just relax and stop worrying. Why are you so worried about him all of a sudden anyway?"

"I don't know, I feel connected to him some how. It's like we're bonded or something. That probably seems really weird."

"No Harry it doesn't. It is very common to be bonded to someone. Lets see what happens tonight when you see him, alright."

They talked for a little while longer, and then they got ready to leave for Kings Cross.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Once Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on platform 9 ¾ they boarded the train and looked for an empty compartment. They found an empty one near the end of the train. They went in and sat down. Harry stretched out his leg and Hermione transfigured a quill into a pillow for him. He smiled in thanks and carefully put it under his leg. They talked for hours until they reached Hogsmeade station.

They exited the train and found a carriage together. Harry looked at the Threshals and shuddered, he knew that he could see them only because he witnessed someone die. He wanted his razor, his savior. Shaking his head he looked away. After ten minutes they reached the castle and got off the carriage. They headed to the Great Hall and sat down. As soon as the sorting hat started its song, Harry's scar started to burn. He winced in pain and clapped his hands against it. When he pulled his hands away, there was blood on them. Ron and Hermione noticed his scar bleeding and quickly ran up to the Head Table. Ginny watched as Harry winced in pain again and quickly went to his side. He screamed and collapsed. She caught him and gently lowered him to the ground.

----Vision----

He was walking up to the Great Hall. Looking around him he saw that he was surrounded by, Death Eaters, Vampires, Werewolves, Giants, and Dementors. _Tonight is the night Hogwarts falls, tonight is the night Harry Potter dies! _

"Attention…We attack during the feast. All of the teachers and students are going to be in the Great Hall. They aren't going to expect us to attack. They will be unprepared. There are two traitors in the school, Severus Snape, and Draco Malfoy. Bring them to me alive, but you may torture them as you see fit. Harry Potter will also be there, leave him for me, don't touch him anyone else who gets in your way you can kill." Announced Voldemort.

Everyone nodded in agreement and continued their way up to the castle. Voldemort was by himself at the end and muttered one last phase before he continued.

"Harry Potter I know you are listening to this. Either you die tonight or all of your loved ones will. I am only attacking the school because that's where you are. If you weren't there, the school would be safe. Its all your fault, you should have died when you had the chance to. Who will die next? Ron, Hermione, Remus, The Weasley's, or maybe Draco? How much more death can you take? How much more blood will end up on your hands before you die?"

------End Vision-----

Harry screamed and woke up. He noticed that he was on the ground and Dumbledore was kneeling right next to him.

"Dumbledore….it's him….he's going to attack…during the feast…said it was my fault…said I was going to…going to die tonight…and if I didn't everyone else will…I'm sorry…"

"Harry calm down, it's ok. It's not your fault." Harry nodded and Dumbledore continued this time announcing to the whole school. "Attention we are not going to have the feast right now, there is a change in plans. I want all of the students, except for sixth and seventh years to follow Professor Lupin into a secret chamber that he knows. Any other students who don't want to fight follow the rest. The students who want to fight, please get your wands out and stand behind the professors. Lord Voldemort himself is going to come here tonight with an army. If you don't want to fight, don't." He waited for the students who weren't fighting to leave. Once they left, he addressed the rest of the group. "This is very important, you have to listen to what I say. If I tell you to retreat, you obey me and retreat ok, if I tell you to attack, you attack, and so on. Now lets go outside and start the attack."

Once outside, Harry screamed in pain and clamped his hands on his scar. He looked in the distance and saw the Giants start to head out of the forest. The students started to cast spells at the Giants and after awhile the Giants were all either dead or unconscious. After the Giants were down, Vampires followed. The teachers sent spells at the vampires and they slowly died. Once the vampires were down, Werewolves followed. Harry sent a strong spell that sent a silver light at the werewolves, and they all died. Lastly Death Eaters start to come out of the forest. They started to shoot spells at the students. Harry shot spells back. He saw Lord Voldemort in the distance and noticed that he was advancing towards Draco. Harry made his way to Draco and by the time he got there, Voldemort had already cast the death curse. Not thinking about the consequences, Harry dove in front of Draco and took the curse for him. When the curse hit Harry a blinding flash of white light consumed him. Everyone around him got temporary blinded and stunned. They heard an earsplitting scream and felt the earth shake below them. Once the light was gone, everyone looked around them and noticed that all of the Death eaters, and Voldemort were dead. Ron looked around and noticed that Harry wasn't moving. He quickly went over to Harry and checked for a pulse. He thankfully found one. He didn't know how, but Harry once again survived the Killing curse. He heard footsteps behind him and saw Madame Pomphrey run towards him. She took Harry and brought him up to the Hospital wing along with anyone else whom was injured.

A few hours later, Harry woke up. He looked around and noticed that he was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. He didn't know how he was alive, since he was full on hit with the killing curse. He had saved Draco Malfoy, why had he done that? _Oh yeah I remember now, it was a perfect way to die, why can't I just die already?_ He looked around and saw that Draco was sitting by his bedside. He coughed and Draco looked up.

"Harry Potter, I want to thank you. For both times you saved my life, the first time being earlier this summer and then tonight. Thanks for believing me I didn't think you would. I'm sorry for how I treated you these past few years, it was all an act I didn't mean any of it."

"It's ok Draco. I felt bonded to you, I did what I needed to do, there is no reason to thank me. Can we call a truce and start over?"

"Yea sure. Hi my name is Draco Malfoy, what's yours?" Draco stated sticking out his hand.

Harry took Draco's hand and replied, "Harry Potter, it's a pleasure to meet you."

They shook hands and smiled at each other. They started talking about nonsense stuff and ended up spending hours talking to each other. By the time they had finished talking to each other, Harry realized that he was falling in love with Draco. _I love the way his lips move when he talks, and the way his hair falls into his face. He has the most angelic face I've ever seen. Why haven't I noticed this before?_ Unknown to Harry, Draco was thinking the same things. _I love the way Harry looks when he talks. His eyes sparkle with mirth and joy. I wish they would do that all the time, but I know they don't, he suffered too much in his life. I wish I could make him happier, that I could hold him and make his troubles go away._

A few days passed and Harry and Draco spent most of the time talking to each other, getting closer and closer by the second until they were almost inseparable. Ron and Hermione came by everyday and also got closer to Draco. They noticed that Draco and Harry loved each other, and didn't care. They just wanted Harry to be happy, and if Draco made him happy then it was fine with them. All they had to do was get them to confess their love to each other.

A week later, Harry was finally able to leave the hospital wing. He grabbed his crutches from the bedside, and carefully got up. Draco, Ron, and Hermione were waiting for him at the door and they went to class together. They had potions first. After potions they went to History of Magic. Once class was over for the day, Draco stopped Harry in the hallway and told him something.

"Harry I have something to tell you. I am going to ask Dumbledore to let me be resorted because I don't feel safe in the Slytherin dorms anymore. I'm going there right now, do you want to come with me?"

"Sure. I hope you get sorted into Gryfindor with us. It would be nice to have you in the same house as us."

They headed towards Dumbledore's office and Draco said the password, Starburst. They walked inside and knocked on the door. Once inside, they told Dumbledore what they wanted and he placed the hat on Draco. After a few minutes the hat spoke up and said 'Gryfindor'. Draco and Harry smiled and walked back to the dorm. On the way there Harry stopped Draco and pulled him into an empty room. He put a silencing and locking charm on the door and turned to Draco.

"Draco I have to tell you something. But you have to promise not to tell anyone else unless I say that's it's ok."

"Ok I promise."

"Well when you wrote the letter to me this summer it got me thinking. I thought about you and how I was sad and worried for you. I didn't want you to suffer, and I didn't want you to fear for your life. I realized that I have feelings for you, stronger than just friendship. I love you, I feel bonded to you, as if you're my soul mate. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."

"Don't worry Harry it doesn't because I feel the same way. That's why I wrote to you, I felt bonded to you and thought that you would help me. You can tell me anything that you need to get off your chest. Anything that you say, I promise I wont tell anyone, unless I feel that I need to for your safety."

Harry nodded and stepped closer to Draco. He leaned in and kissed him. Draco responded right away and kissed Harry back. After ten minutes they finally broke apart and smiled.

"Draco, will you be my boyfriend?" Quietly asked Harry.

"Of course." Answered Draco. Draco leaned in and kissed Harry passionately on the lips. Harry responded and after a few minutes broke away.

"We should head back. I don't want to keep this a secret. We don't need to Voldemort and his followers are dead. It's up to you though."

"I agree."

They held hands and walked to the dorm. Harry said the password, Victory is ours, Ron told it to him yesterday, and walked through the opening. Draco followed and lead Harry to the couch. Harry laid down and Draco sat next to him letting Harry rest his leg on his lap. Ron and Hermione spotted them and smiled knowingly. They sat on the chairs near Harry and Draco and talked with them.

"Ron and Hermione we have something to tell you. Draco and I are dating…"

"Took you guys long enough. We've been trying to get you together since the attack." Responded Ron.

Harry nodded and started to vigorously rub his arms. He really wanted his razor he needed to numb his thoughts. Hermione quickly grabbed his arms and he sighed. He figured he should tell Draco about everything.

"Draco, I need to talk to you about some serious stuff. Can we go into the prefect's common room please? Ron and Hermione you can come too if you want." Harry stated. He was made prefect so now all 4 of them were and the sixth year prefects had their own common room.

Draco nodded and carefully lifted Harry's leg off his lap. Once Draco got up, he carefully helped Harry up and let Harry lean on his shoulder while Ron picked his crutches up. Harry kissed Draco on the cheek and grabbed the crutches. They headed towards the common room and went in. Harry put a silencing and locking charm on the entrance just incase and turned to Draco.

"Lets sit down before I start." Harry started waiting for Draco to join him on the couch. Ron and Hermione sat on the armchairs near the couch. Once everyone was seated he continued. "Ok um since we are together now, you should know what is going on in my life. I need your help. I have attempted suicide twice this summer and cut my wrists a lot." Harry paused to let the information sink in. He pulled up his sleeves and showed Draco his wrists. "The reason that I started is that my uncle was physically, sexually, and verbally abusive to me. It was the worst this past summer, and Ron's dad rescued me. The first thing my uncle did to me this summer was run his car over my leg and leave me under it all night until he left for work the next morning. He then beat me every day and about two weeks into the summer he started to rape me everyday. He told me that everything that goes wrong is my fault and that I should die…so every night before I went to bed I would cut…then if I had a bad dream I would cut again…its my release…my way of coping with what happens…on the day I told him I was going to leave, he beat me, raped me, and…and shoved a stick up…up my ass…I'm sorry Draco…I'm so sorry…" Harry couldn't continue because he started to sob.

Draco looked sadly at Harry and put his arms around him. He held Harry as close to him as he could, and murmured kind words to him.

"It's ok Harry. I'll help you. Nothing that happened was your fault. Thanks for telling me. I promise I will help you through this. All you have to do is let me." Draco kissed Harry's forehead and felt Harry nod. "Can you try to come to me, or anyone, when you feel like doing it. Please Harry try. That's all I ask."

"Ok Draco…if you see me rub or scratch at my arms stop me…please…when I do that it means that I want to cut again. I've done it for years, ever since I was nine or ten, I haven't been able to stop yet…Professor Lupin is trying to help me stop though." Harry started to rub at his arms again and reached into his pocket fingering his razor. He really needed it.

"Harry calm down. You will get through this. You will get better. If anything, do it for me love, please. I love you Harry, I don't want to see you upset or hurt. I know you can do it because I used to cut also, but I stopped, and you can too…it just takes time and effort." Reasoned Draco.

Harry got up and headed to the bathroom. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to do something. Once he made it to the bathroom, he put his crutches down and carefully sat down resting his back against the cabinet. He pulled the razor out of his pocket and watched as it glistened in the light. He looked at it and placed it on his wrist. All he could think about was the five people he as good as killed. He started to cry, his hand shook as he held the razor to his wrist. He wanted to cut, but knew that he shouldn't. He heard someone knocking on the door and hoped that if he ignored them, that they would go away. They knocked again and this time he could make out voices.

"Harry what's taking you so long? If you don't open the door now, I'm going to come in." Draco announced.

"Draco…I cant take this anymore…I want to cut…please help…"

Draco hurriedly opened the door and saw Harry sitting on the ground crying. He noticed that Harry had a razor placed on his wrist. Draco quickly sat down next to Harry and gently took the razor from him. He pocketed the razor and held Harry close to him until he stopped crying. Once Harry stopped crying, Draco stood up and helped Harry up. Harry leaned on the sink while Draco picked up his crutches. Harry grabbed his crutches and they headed out of the bathroom. Draco told Harry to lie down on the couch and went to get professor Lupin.

"Professor Lupin, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah sure come in."

Draco walked in and went to Lupin. "It's Harry. We were talking, and then he went into the bathroom and didn't come out. After like twenty minutes I knocked on the door and he told me he wanted to cut again. I opened the door as soon as I heard that and found him with a razor on his wrist. He hadn't cut yet, and I took the razor. Here it is." He held out the razor. "I love him and can't stand seeing him like this. He said you are trying to help him. So I thought you should know."

Lupin took the razor and nodded. "Thank you Draco. I am both his guardian and therapist. It was very smart of you to come and tell me. Can you take me too him?"

"Yea sure he is in the Gryfindor prefect common room. I'll take you there."

Draco led Lupin to Harry and let him talk to Harry in private. Twenty minutes later Lupin opened the door. He motioned for Draco to come in. Draco nodded and went in shutting the door behind him. He went over to Harry and sat next to him. Harry leaned back onto Draco, and Draco wrapped his arms around Harry. Harry winced in pain and grabbed his leg it was starting to bother him again.

"Harry where are your pain meds? Tell me so I can get them for you." Remus asked.

"Ron has them…" Harry replied.

Remus left to find Ron and Draco tried to get Harry to calm down and relax.

"Shh Harry just relax. Remus went to get your painkillers. It's ok love. Just close your eyes and relax. It will all be over soon. The sooner you relax, the sooner it will end. That's right, just lean back and close your eyes. I have you, nothing will happen." Draco whispered in Harry's ear. He kissed Harry's head and watched as Harry closed his eyes and started to relax.

A few minutes later Harry was sound asleep. Draco sighed and held Harry. Harry whimpered and muttered 'Don't hurt me, I'm sorry, just don't hurt me. I'll be good.' over and over again. Draco sighed and cursed Harry's uncle for what he did to Harry. He heard the door open and looked up. It was Ron with Harry's painkillers. Ron quickly went over to Harry and Draco and handed Draco the painkillers. Draco took them and placed one in Harry's mouth stroking his neck so he would swallow. Draco smiled at Ron and ran his hand through Harry's hair. Ron and Draco talked quietly for a few hours until Harry started to moan and toss and turn. Draco held Harry close to him and kissed his head.

"Harry, love, it's ok it's just a dream wake up…wake up Harry." Draco whispered.

Harry screamed and woke up. He clamped his hands over his moth and Draco picked him up noticing that he was about to get sick. Draco carried him to the bathroom and set him down in front of the toilet. Harry promptly threw up in the toilet. Once Harry emptied his stomach he started to scratch his arms. He curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth crying. Draco quickly sat down next to Harry.

"Harry its ok. It was just a dream. Please calm down and tell me what's bothering you."

"I…I can't take this anymore…I just want to die…"

Draco gulped and yelled for Ron. Ron ran into the bathroom and Draco told him what Harry said. Draco started to cry and didn't know what to do.

"Ron please help…get Remus or Hermione…just please get someone…" Draco pleaded in between sobs.

Ron nodded and ran out of the room again. Draco turned to Harry and sighed. He tried to hug Harry but he screamed and dashed under the sink in fear. Draco heard Harry mutter, 'please don't hurt me…I didn't mean to do it…I deserve to die…just kill me now…please don't hurt me…' over and over. Harry wanted a knife but didn't have one so he transfigured a piece of paper into one. What he didn't realize was that he didn't even have his wand with him. He held the knife a placed it against his wrist. Draco cried and tried to stop Harry from using it.

"Harry please don't do it. I love you. Please don't use the knife." Draco pleaded.

Harry shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Draco I love you, I just can't take the pain anymore." With that said, Harry pressed the knife into his wrist and Draco screamed.

Draco dove under the sink and grabbed the knife from Harry. Once he put the knife in his pocket, he carefully dragged Harry out from under the sink and looked at his wrist. Harry had done a number on his wrist. It was bleeding pretty hard so Draco grabbed a washcloth and tightly but gently wrapped it around Harry's wrist. He cried and held Harry as tightly as he could. He heard the door open and footsteps rush towards him. He looked up and saw Ron, Hermione, and Remus come into the room. Remus took one look at Harry and Draco and told the other two to leave. He then rushed over to Harry and Draco.

"Draco thank you for telling Ron to get me. That was very smart thinking. You saved his life. Can I please see him now?" Remus stated. He saw Draco nod and slowly move away from Harry. "Thank you Draco. He is going to be ok. Don't worry about him."

Draco nodded but continued to cry. He scooted back into the corner of the bathroom and watched as Remus unwrapped Harry's wrist and looked at the cut. He heard Remus sigh and saw him clean the cut. Once the cut was cleaned, Remus wrapped it in a bandage and turned to Draco again.

"Shh. Draco calm down…it's ok Harry's going to be just fine."

Draco nodded and slowly stopped crying. He reached into his pocket and took out the bloody knife that Harry used and handed it to Remus. Remus took it and smiled at Draco.

"Professor…Harry transfigured that knife from paper…but the thing is…he didn't have his wand…and he said that he wanted to die…that he deserved to die…he kept saying 'don't hurt me…I'll be good…I'm sorry…just don't hurt me.' I love him, and it scared me to see him like that. I don't know how to help him. How do I show him that life is too special to end?" Draco stated. He started to cry again and looked away from Remus.

"Oh Draco…I will talk to him about that ok. I will have a talk with him today and see what he wants to do. We might have to put him on suicide watch. Actually we are going to have to...its up to him if he stays here or goes somewhere else though. Lets move him back to the couch."

"Can I carry him?"

Remus nodded and Draco carefully picked Harry up. He carried Harry back to the couch and sat down resting Harry's head on his lap. They sat there until Harry woke up.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update...but here is the finished 4th chapter...the more reviews i get, the faster i will update...

Chapter 4

A month later Harry was sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast when an owl came to him with a letter. He untied the letter and read it.

Dear Freak,

I hope you are in pain. You deserve to be. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to kill Aunt petunia and Dudley tonight and tell them that you made me do it. It is going to be your fault. I also found out where your freak school is and I'm going to come there and kill you unless you kill yourself before I get to you. Either way you are going to die. All you bring to this earth is pain and misery. You kill everyone who gets too close to you. You are a danger to mankind. Everyone will be better off with out you around.

I know that people know about our little secret now. Why did you tell someone, I thought you liked it. You know you deserve pain, so why blab about your life? EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS YOUR FAULT AND I HOPE YOU SUFFER. Oh by the way I just found out I have AIDS it's all your fault. I should have known that you were diseased. FUCK YOU go rot in hell.

From

Vernon

Harry finished reading the letter and started to cry. Draco noticed that Harry was crying and grabbed the note. Harry saw Draco read the note and he quickly left. He headed up to the astronomy tower, the highest tower in the castle. Once up there he transfigured a pebble into a knife and hid in the shadows. _Was he telling the truth? Does he really have AIDS? Could I have AIDS? Do wizards even get AIDS? Shit he is going to kill two people tonight because of me…_

While Harry was in the astronomy tower, Draco was reading the letter. He couldn't believe what Harry's uncle wrote to him. He was relieved that there was a simple potion that cures AIDS because if Harry did have it, he would be able to be cured. He quickly went up to the head table and showed the letter to Remus. Remus read the letter and gulped.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know sir, he left as soon as he saw I was reading it." Draco stated. He started to cry and looked down.

"That's fine Draco. Can you tell Ron to get the Map for me…he will understand what I mean."

"Yes sir" Draco ran to tell Ron to get the map and Ron left. Draco then went back to Remus. A few minutes later Ron came back and gave Remus the map. Once Remus had the map, Ron quickly left again.

"Ok thanks Ron. Draco this map will tell us where he is." Remus informed. He whispered the password and the map formed. He scanned the map for Harry and gulped when he noticed that he was in the astronomy tower. "Shit he is in the astronomy tower, lets hurry and get to him."

They headed to the astronomy tower and saw Harry standing on the edge with a knife in his hand. Harry was crying and placed the blade to his wrist. He started to cut and looked fondly at the blood. Draco cried harder and stepped forward but Remus held him back.

"Let him be right now. We don't want to scare him and have him jump. Let me talk to him ok." Whispered Remus. Draco nodded and stepped back. Remus stepped forward and gently started to talk to Harry. "Harry it's ok calm down. Nothing he said is your fault. Don't listen to him. There is a test we can perform that says if you have it or not. Even if you have it we have a potion that cures it. Just step away from the edge and give me the knife. Please Harry if you don't do it for me, do it for Draco. He is very worried about you. Please Harry listen to me. Everything is going to be ok, you can get through this."

Harry took a step backwards and Remus let Draco talk to him.

"Please Harry, love, listen to what Remus is saying. He is telling you the truth. None of this is your fault. Just step away from the edge and put the knife down. Please I love you Harry and I don't like to see you hurt."

Harry took another step backwards and dropped the knife. Remus slowly walked towards Harry and picked the knife up. Harry turned around to look at Draco. He saw Draco crying and suddenly felt really bad.

"I'm sorry Draco. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just couldn't take anymore crap."

Draco smiled at Harry and pulled him into a hug. They left the astronomy tower and headed towards the hospital wing so that Harry could be tested. Madame Pomphrey was already waiting for him and he sat down on the closest bed. She pointed her wand at him and examined him for a few minutes. When she finished examining him she smiled and looked at him.

"Harry you tested negative for AIDS you don't have it. I also looked at your leg and it is healed enough so you can walk on it without the crutches now. If it starts to bother you I want you to come straight here. Now I'm going to clean and bandage your wrist, once that is done you can leave."

She cleaned and bandaged his wrist and they left. Harry was very relieved that he didn't have AIDS. He put his arm around Draco's shoulder and headed back into the common room.

Once they were back in the prefects' common room, Draco and Harry sat down on the couch and Draco sighed.

"Harry we need to talk. I'm worried about you. Love, I just don't want to see you so sad and down about yourself and the world around you. I just want you to know that you can always come to me if you feel like doing it again so that I can help you through it. Please at least try for me."

"Ok Draco, I'll try for you, I cant make any promises though. Don't expect me to be cured over night, cause I wont be."

Draco nodded and kissed Harry on the lips. "I know you won't be able to stop over night, but with my help you will be able to over time. I love you Harry, and I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I am going to protect you from harm, even if it means that I have to protect you from yourself."

Harry smiled at Draco and kissed him back. After a few minutes they broke away breathless. Harry put his head on Draco's shoulder and felt Draco's arms wrap around his waist. They stayed cuddled up together until they heard the door open, and looked to see who came in. They smiled at Ron and Hermione and motioned for them to sit down.

"Hey Harry are you ok?" Hermione carefully asked.

"I will be. Thanks Hermione. I was just scared about something my stupid uncle sent me in this letter." Harry replied handing Hermione the letter. He waited for Hermione to finish reading the letter.

"Oh Merlin Harry, I'm so sorry."

"That's ok Hermione, thanks though. I went to Madame Pomphrey about it and she said I didn't have it. Even if I did, there is a potion that cures it, so no worries. I didn't know that at first, but Draco told me."

Hermione and Ron smiled at Draco grateful that he was there to help Harry. They noticed how close Harry and Draco were cuddled against each other and smiled again at them. Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione and felt Hermione lean against him.

Later that night Harry's scar started to burn. He pressed his hands to it and bit his lip so he wouldn't scream in pain. After a few minutes he blacked out.

-----vision------

He looked around him and all he could see was fire and destruction. He realized that he was looking at his relatives house and that he was stabbing his aunt. He put the knife down and went into Dudley's room. First he raped Dudley, and then he pulled out a gun and shot him in between the legs once and once again in between the eyes. Laughing he said to himself, "Harry Potter the Freak who never died, I have a feeling you can see this and I want you to know that it is all your fault and that the blood on your hands is the blood of your remaining family. Say good bye to them Harry because they are now all dead, you have no more family, everyone who is close to you will die a slow and painful death." With that said he shot himself in the mouth.

------end of vision------

"Harry----Harry please wake up……its just a dream, please wake up…….wake up please……someone get help! That's it come one Harry you can do it, just open your eyes, you're safe here."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. He threw up in the toilet and started to cry. After a few minutes of dry heaving, he flushed the toilet and leaned back against the wall. He grabbed a razor off of the sink and looked at the way the light glinted off of it. He heard someone knocking at the door and ignored them. A few minutes later the door opened and Draco came in.

"Harry please love, drop the razor and tell me what's wrong. Please do it for me. I don't want you to hurt yourself, I just want you to be safe. Now tell me what the matter is."

"The….the Dursleys….they are….they are all dead. Fucking….vernon….killed them all….he fucking raped Dudley, and shot him…..shot him in between the legs….and then in the head…he stabbed my aunt and told me that it was all my fault….he called me the freak who never died, and he….knew that I would see what he did to them…..he told me that everyone close to me would die….a slow and painful death….and then he shot himself in the mouth…."

"Oh Harry…I'm so sorry you had to see that. Come on lets go see Remus and let him know what you just saw."

Harry nodded and they made their way to Remus's room. Once there they knocked on the door and Remus told them to come in. Once they were in Draco retold Harry's nightmare/vision because he knew Harry wasn't in the right state to retell it. Remus listened to the story and got more and more worried about Harry. He sighed and turned to Draco.

"Thanks for letting me know. Can I talk to Harry for a few minutes alone please?" Draco nodded and reluctantly left. "Harry you know that none of that was your fault right."

Harry shook his head and Remus sighed. They talked for a little while longer and Remus let Draco back in after awhile. He let them spend the night in his rooms and told Draco to get him if anything else happened.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Draco I don't want to live any more. I deserve to die and I am going to so why not just die tonight…why wait?"

"Harry please don't talk about stuff like that. You don't deserve to die and I would be very upset if you did. I love you so much please don't think like that. I want to spend my whole life with you but I cant do that if you die. I hate seeing you so hurt and sad. You should be happy and healthy."

"Everyone would be better off with out me."

"No they wouldn't be Harry, everyone would be so upset that you died. Please if you wont listen to anything else listen to this, we are soul mates and when soul mates are separated it becomes painful. If one dies the other one dies shortly after."

"You don't deserve to die though."

"Neither do you."

Harry sighed and took out his journal. He wrote an entry stating that he wanted to die but Draco was trying to talk him out of it and it was sort of helping but not really. Remus arrived a few minutes later and thanked Draco for talking to Harry.

"Harry what's the matter?" Remus asked.

"I am sick of feeling so much pain and suffering. I am sick of life. My only purpose is to get loved ones killed or at least in harms way. I am sick of the visions and nightmares. Sick of feeling the urges to cut, sick of wanting to end my life. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Ok can you just relax and take a few deep breaths."

Harry did as he was told and slowly started to feel better. He relaxed and sighed.

"Thanks you guys."

"For what?" Remus asked confused to why Harry was thanking him. Draco also looked confused.

"For letting me talk to you and listening when I do. It means a lot to me."

"Oh your welcome then."

Harry talked to them for a few more minutes and after he talked to them he didn't feel the urge, the craving, the need, to cut anymore. Once Remus was sure that Harry was ok, he left leaving Draco and Harry alone. Draco went over to Harry and started to kiss him. Harry responded instantly. They kissed for a few minutes until they were out of breath. Panting Harry smiled at Draco and leaned back to rest his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and snuggled close to him. Remus came in an hour later and found them snuggled against each other. He chuckled and coughed hoping to wake them up. Draco woke up and gently shook Harry's shoulder to wake him up. Once Harry was up, Draco looked up and noticed that Remus was there.

"Harry it's time for our session again. Draco can stay if you want him to this time. It's up to you though."

"That's ok, he can stay, I'll end up telling him everything anyway, so it's fine."

"Ok then…I want you to talk about why you feel so guilty about everything that has happened."

"Uh…I don't know how to explain it…"

"That's ok, take your time, I don't want to rush you."

"Ok so um…if I wasn't with my parents that night, they wouldn't have been attacked…if I didn't tell you not to kill Wormtail Voldemort wouldn't have come back…if I didn't tell Cedric to take the portkey with me, he wouldn't have died…if I didn't go to the ministry of magic last June, Sirius wouldn't have fallen through the veil."

"Oh Harry those things weren't your fault. I wish you believed me when I said that because its true. You had no control over what happened in those situations and if we swapped places and I was the one whom experienced those events, I would have done the same thing you did. It was very brave and honorable of you."

Draco nodded in agreement to Lupin's comment. Harry sighed and slowly nodded to show that he understood what Remus was saying.


End file.
